The Great and Cowardly Escapes of Richard Spencer

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This column, on the eve of #StopSpencer in Michigan, I want to address myself specifically to all the meme frogs.

Over the last two years, many a young white man (and even some who aren’t) have rushed to defend the Trust-Fund Fuhrer in public, at great risk to themselves, while at every opportunity, Richard Spencer has run and hid from danger like a frightened child trying to avoid being tagged on the playground. With the approaching mobilizations happening in Detroit and East Lansing over the next couple of days, we think it’s important to remind all of the faillords out there just who they are providing security for, building up a brand around, and wasting thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours to defend, protect, and make famous.

This isn’t just a question of physical cowardice, but also of principle. Richard Spencer has used people like Matthew Heimbach for instance, for years. Sometimes keeping him at a distance, while at other times using his group for ‘muscle’ and numbers. Heimbach might play lip service to the ‘working class,’ but it’s easy to see that he takes orders from someone who was born into status far above his own.

A weak people need no leaders, and the pathetic fucks in the Alt-Right deserve the cowards who call their shots. In that spirit, here’s a rundown of some of Richard Spencer’s greatest hits.

Momma Said Knock You Out: Washington DC, January 20th, 2017

In the punch heard round the internet, Richard Spencer was magnificently decked in the face, not once, but twice on the streets of Washington DC after he watched Trump’s inauguration speech. Each time, with tears welling up in his wart covered face, he attempted to flee in a taxi, only to be later found again.

“Everyone saw you cry on the internet!”

And again!

DEFCON Richard: Charlottesville, Virginia, August 12th, 2017

During the clashes at Unite the Right in Charlottesville, Virginia, Richard Spencer was protected the entire time by a security detail team that included ex-military personnel. But when things got hairy and his troops were on the front lines fighting antifascists, Spencer was running to the hills like a scared child!

BAHAHAHA! “WE’LL PROTECT YOU RICHARD!” Source: Restoring the Honor

“FUCK DAMIGO! GET MEH OUTTA HERE!” Source: Resting the Honor

Running from the Antifa: Washington DC, April 8th, 2017

After Trump bombed Syria, Richard Spencer and other neo-Nazis attempted to hold a rally in Washington DC, but were quickly surrounded by antifascists outside of the White House. After being covered in glitter, Richard Spencer and friends then began literally running down the street “like a squirrel,” attempting to get into any taxi that would stop. The problem was, no one wanted them, and they continued to run around Downtown DC frantically until finally a cab picked them up.

To the Fash Mobile!: Washington DC, December 3rd, 2017

Again in Washington DC, Spencer and friends attempted to hold a rally with about two dozen supporters, but were quickly blocked by antifascists. After about 15 minutes, Richard Spencer ducked into a waiting SUV by himself while his “friends” had to take public transportation and figure things out on their own. Video of Spencer ducking and diving into the waiting vehicle while surrounded by his confused friends quickly hit the internet to much amusement.

Schools Out, For Nazis!: Auburn, Alabama, April 18th, 2017

When Richard Spencer spoke in Auburn, Alabama, he wasn’t prepared for the out pouring of opposition from the student body. Chanting, “Tiger Town Beats Nazis Down!,” students rampaged against various Alt-Right “little people,” while Spencer and other leaders were ushered out the back by police. As IGD wrote at the time:

According to those on the ground, some of the neo-Nazis were beaten as they were chased away by the crowd who chanted, “Tiger town puts Nazis down!” Various fascists were knocked to the ground, punched in the face, and stomped on before police could arrive to help them. As per usual, Richard Spencer was well protected by police and was escorted away from the premises as his “white bloc” security forces faced the wrath of the angry crowd.

Mike Peinovich, who later spoke with The New Republic, seemed to be unaware that the rank-n-file got the shit kicked out of them by the local football team, probably because he and Spencer were totally protected by the police:

It was hard to tell who started running first, but in an instant Heimbach and his guys were sprinting across the campus lawn with hundreds of students bolting after them. Soon the crowd swallowed them up. A herd of Chads were waylaid and punched before cops broke it off. Heimbach and his crew managed to lose their pursuers and lay low in an alley. The crowd chased down every Chad and fascist it could find, literally running them out of town.

The next day I met Mike Enoch at the airport. He had not heard of the chase until I told him. “Weird,” he said. “They should have just come with us. We had a police escort.”

Slipping Out the Back: Gainesville, Florida, October 19th, 2017

In Gainesville, Florida, thousands came out to laugh and drown out Richard Spencer and his supporters for several hours. Spencer was visibly upset and attempted to mock the audience, who chanted, “Fuck you Spencer!” Later, as in Auburn, Spencer left out the back with police escorts while some of his supporters faced a gauntlet in the front. Soon after, members of the neo-Nazi group Patriot Front tasked with doing security, shot at counter-protesters sitting at a bus stop. Spencer and friends quickly distanced themselves from their former minions, despite planning documents showing that Spencer had asked them to be there.

Escaping Work and Being a Father, Richard Spencer’s Entire Life

But Spencer’s greatest escape of all time is that of not having to work like the rest of us – on the account of his family’s inherited wealth. According to Mother Jones:

Spencer, along with his mother and sister, are absentee landlords of 5,200 acres of cotton and corn fields in an impoverished, largely African American region of Louisiana, according to records examined by Reveal from The Center for Investigative Reporting. The farms, controlled by multiple family-owned businesses, are worth millions: A 1,600-acre parcel sold for $4.3 million in 2012.

The Spencer family’s farms are also subsidized by the federal government. From 2008 through 2015, the Spencers received $2 million in US farm subsidy payments, according to federal data.

Turns out Spencer is also a shitty ass dad – who would have thought? Former neo-Nazi skinhead organizer, Christian Picciolini, said this about Spencer after meeting him during an interview with It’s Going Down:

I can tell you after spending two hours with him…he’s the same brash guy that you’d expect. But I can tell you, that he’s…a broken human…I can say this with 100% clarity, that I despise all his ideas, but I can tell you that the reason that he says them, is that one, that he comes from extreme, extreme privilege, and two, is because he doesn’t have a great relationship with his family, or with his daughter.

So, a lot of this stuff is, ya know, a combination of having way too much money and way too much time, and not haven really proven yourself in this world, besides getting a bunch of degrees. And the other part of it is, this broken little boy, who’s looking for attention from dad, and from mom, and who doesn’t know how to be a father himself, and doesn’t know how to a husband.

Richard Spencer is a coward and a lace curtail mother-fucker.

He pads himself on the back that he lives an “exciting and dangerous life,” when he could of simply lived like every other soft posh boy. But in truth, Spencer does not live in danger. He leaves that to his rank-n-file Alt-Right troops, who turn out to his events to throw themselves in front of thousands to protect him. Why? If you wanted to hurt yourself in the service of an uncaring rich person, you might as well dip your private parts into the fryer at McDonald’s – you’re literally doing the same thing. Ironic that you fight for the “future of white children,” yet take orders from someone who seems to have abandoned theirs.

If fascism as a movement is based around the idea of projecting force against the world and society and molding it to fit your will without debate, then Spencer is the most abject failure at doing so. Stop being cannon fodder for someone that would call the cops on you for daring to walk onto his golf course at the drop of a hat. Wake up and realize that other broke people with different colored skin aren’t your enemies, and the people running the show, destroy the planet we depend on to live, owning the property, and renting you out at work, are.


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