Anti-Frat Dance Party: More Successful than Every Frat Party in History Combined

Here’s the thing: frats are a very real and material expression of systems of destruction—from white supremacy and heterosexism, to toxic masculinity inspired by patriarchy, to the elitist classism bred by capitalism. All across the nation students and neighboring communities live under the blight of fraternities, which brings scores of racist and homophobic crimes, endemic sexual violence and a squandering of resources by the elite. Despite many recent news stories including frat boy intervention into an investigation of a serial rapist in Sig Ep, a disgusting leaked commentary on the Bachelor TV show by Delta Chi, and the suspension of Delta Upsilon involving multiple rapes, UMN invests in a milquetoast “We all belong here” campaign and continues to support Greek Life by showering them in money and resources, all the while claiming the need to raise tuition. Usually the frats recruit without question, but not this year. Danger Collective held a vigil turned protest at the start of the chapter tours. Graffitti and stickers have appeared throughout dinkytown and frat row. And finally we took the streets on September 7th during Fraternity Rush Week for a good ole fashioned dance party.

30 to 40 folks gathered near frat row, ready to show the boys how to throw a real banger. Our party decorations included flares, a sparkly pink “KILL RAPISTS” banner imploring bystanders to connect with the rage that thousands of survivors feel, and our middle fingers. We casually strolled onto University Ave, chanting “fuck frats!” and “anytime, any place, punch a rapist in the face!” Our voices were accompanied by a marching band, cuz what good soirée is complete without a brass section?

So… this happened tonight in Minneapolis pic.twitter.com/amylZkVBet

— Grant Simons (@GrantSimons2) September 8, 2017

Frat boys stared on dumbfoundedly as their walkways were redecorated with slogans ranging from “fuck frats” to “kill frat boys.” Campus was beautified with circle A’s and copious amounts of paint. While some folks joined from the sidewalk, crust punks cheered us through dinkytown as they realized their spanging couldn’t compete with the masked up group shouting “fuck the frats!”

Like at any good, rowdy party the cops showed up eventually. We quickly let the cops know how much of a party foul they were committing. Middle fingers flew and shouts of “fuck 12” greeted the berries of the cruisers. Bystanders may be confused and think we had planned this “police escort,” but let’s clear that right up: fuck cops. We want them gone just as much as we do frat boys. The two “brotherhoods” stand for the same things: rape culture, heterosexism, patriarchy and white supremacy. The only real difference is one group’s uniform is salmon and not navy (but god knows neither group has any worthwhile fashion sense).

Like all good things in life, the festivities did have to come to an end eventually. We quickly dissolved into the night, hopefully scaring a few dumbass freshman out of rushing a fraternity, inspiring a few phonecalls to daddy’s lawyer, and having taught them that there are better ways to make friends than paying for them (namely not being a sexist, racist, or homophobic slice of wonder bread).

No space exists for racist, sexist, homophobic and xenophobic frats. These parasites are not welcome here and we’ll continue shaking up the block until the pests have been extinguished.