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Jun 8, 17

The Grouch: Portland ISO, Baked Alaska, and the ‘Summer of Rage’

The hang wringy whine-whines at IGD have pushed me to compile my thoughts into a column, as to not pollute their precious website with curse words and aggressive language.

Maybe when their Patreon really takes off they can buy me some paddles so I can row down their river of tears, but I digress.

In order to accommodate my anarchist social media overlords, I will be collecting my thoughts here from time to time, in order to attack the totality of stupidity all around me. Unequal parts piss and vinegar; vinegar smells bad and I’ve been drinking since 9 AM.

I’ve got a lot of things to complain about, so let’s get to it.

Kyle Chapman: Open Season on Sucking At Everything

For those of you out there that don’t follow the world of online far-Right fundraising, (the vast majority of the population), Kyle Chapman, aka, who really gives a fuck, is failing harder than Richard Spencer at squeezing into a medium.

His ‘Back the Right‘ page, as Vocative pointed out recently, has currently 10 crowdfunding campaigns to fly various shitty Alt-Right and far-Right speakers to different events, 7 of which have failed to raise any money at all. The “Based” Legal Fund set up by Kyle Chapman and walking Alt-Right acne-scar and ‘lawyer’ Augustus Invictus, has also only raised a meager $26 dollars. As the kids say, “not so Based.”

Oh Augustus? Can we make a motion for you to go fuck yourself, you rapist piece of shit?

With the failure of Chapman’s ability to raise much money, he seems also to be pushing his rhetoric farther and farther Right and with increasingly more and more violent overtones.

And, on top of tweeting that antifascists should be “smashed on sight,” Chapman is now openly considering promoting a rally in Charlottesville, Virginia alongside members of neo-Nazi groups like the Traditionalist Worker Party, and organized by local Alt-Right failure, Jason Kessler.

Lastly, on June 10th, Chapman is still planning to march his troops into battle against a fake protest called by Alt-Right trolls in Houston, Texas. Enjoy standing around looking at each other’s ugly faces!

Weak AF Alaska

In the lead up to the “Free Speech” rally in Portland, Baked Alaska, the white nationalist “rapper” who makes music so bad, that even if he was your cousin and you “really wanted to support his art,” you wouldn’t go see him, apparently had a falling out with former “bro bear” Mike Tokes. Tokes, for those that aren’t up on the latest trolls, is a popular Alt-Right livestreamer whose worldview is about a grade lower than the last Breitbart headline that pops up in his Facebook feed.

Tony, on right, Baked Alaska first and last line of defense

According to Tokes, several days before himself and Alaska, along with Tony aka ‘Antonio Foreman’ on Facebook, a member of the Oath Keepers who protects Alaska and helps him tie his shoes, were supposed to head up to Portland using money raised via Tokes through crowdfunding, he was confronted by Alaska. According to Tokes, Alaska held him hostage, demanding the money, and called him a “kike” repeatedly. Tokes took it like a true Patriot, and didn’t even get all PC on anyone.

Tokes went on to state in a rambly livestream rant that Alaska is a full on “Alt-Right fascist,” however was quick to affirm to all his lame ass ‘fans’ that he was “okay with that,” and that he supported Alaska “pushing the Overton window” as far as it could go. The interaction shows also the role of the Oath Keepers in all of these interactions, as both muscle and liaisons with law enforcement. Tokes has since took down his video, and we can only hope he quickly gets arrested for a DUI or something and we never hear from him again.

https://twitter.com/spacedeath2/status/872207544441110530

Baked Alaska however, unfortunetally continues to keep opening his mouth. At the Portland rally he got into a screaming match with another livestreamer who called him out on his racism, calling the man repeatedly a “bitch” while being protected by Tony from the Oath Keepers. He also referred to all attempts to paint him as a white supremacist as “fake news,” but can we really expect anything different from someone that still thinks frosted tips are cool?

Baked Alaska’s four and half minute speech at the Portland rally was also one of the most uninspiring and stupid things I’ve ever seen, and amounted to a grown man just reading off a list of bumper stickers, (“Free speech,” “Make America Great Again,” “Ron Paul”), that at face value, said nothing about anything, and were just stated in order to get a round of applause from the crowd. Alaska continues to be, like Chapman, just another dumb ass that will say anything in order to make some online money.

He certainly isn’t going to be selling any music anytime soon. 

Portland ISO Wants Immigrants to Mask Up so the Police They Work Closely With can ID Them

https://twitter.com/MinkuAzad/status/871827254627663872

On June 4th in Portland, the local chapter of the International Socialist Organization (ISO), worked closely with the police as well as the Mayor in order to sidestep and attack the antifascist mobilization that was organized weeks prior. While I want to leave the real dirt to people who were on the ground, we couldn’t help but point out this supreme example of liberal-socialist idiocy.

Apparently at the rally that was organized by the ISO, organizers told attendees that they could not wear masks, ‘unless they were undocumented.’ The racist idiocy of such a statement should not be lost on the reader. The ISO asked attendees that were undocumented to put themselves in more danger from the Alt-Right and the police by bringing more attention to themselves, and refusing to let anyone else do so, either out of need to be anonymous or in solidarity with those that do.

The entire idea of black bloc and masking up is that the large amount of people being anonymous helps to create an atmosphere of anonymity that makes people more safe, not less. Also, for the ISO to speak to undocumented, or any people, as if they are children that have to be told to both keep themselves safe and how to fight back, as if these milquetoast soft hands know better, is fucking redic.

But for idiots in the ISO, the ‘optics’ of their rally, selling papers, and gaining one more member for the next semester – was just too sweet to resist. 

“Summer of Rage,” A Bowling Green Massacre All Season Long!

https://twitter.com/SteveMadden269/status/871018114259054592

The world famous mouth breathers and dingleberries at InfoWars and Breitbart have been hard at work coming up with a new fake news threat for the far-Right to beat off to. Get ready, for the Summer of Rage! 

That’s right, the Summer of Rage, brought to you by….the Democratic Party!

According to InfoWars: 

The establishment media is fanning the flames by portraying Trump as illegitimate. This could be the flashpoint that brings about a violent coup in America.

Leftist demonstrators are also set to attend summer “resistance camps” generously funded by the DNC where they will learn tactics to prolong the “resistance” to Trump that began on November 9.

As ‘evidence,’ they then link to a Breitbart article:

The Democrats aren’t plotting ways to attract voters with ideas and principles. Instead, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) is announcing it will hold summer camps for community organizers, dubbed the Summer Resistance program.

“There has been an explosion of activism and energy after the election of Donald Trump, and we need to turn this moment into a movement, DNC chairman Tom Perez is quoted in the press release announcing the plan. “As the Democratic Party, it is our role to support this activism and energy, and convert it into electoral wins up-and-down the ballot by making sure state parties have the tools and resources they need to succeed.”

It’s great to see both the muppet fucks at the DNC and InfoBart falling over themselves in a race to be the most stupid.

First off, if the Right really thinks that the DNC is behind organizing riots and revolt, then why aren’t they outside of their offices and organizing protests against them? 

Why, because anyone with half a brain knows that the DNC destroys revolt and movements that challenge the status quo and seeks to subsume them into their structure of control, not help them succeed and grow.

But regardless of the truth, the far-Right is still in a rush to find internal enemies and threats under every rock and cranny while their ranks stack up bodies and support a billionaire hell bent on ramping up repression, attacking living standards and the environment, and making America great again for the rich and powerful.

So much for the ‘tolerant State!’

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Investigative reporter and columnist on the front-lines of the class and/or meme war.

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